I haven't posted anything in quite a while because I've felt that I haven't had much good to say recently. Not that I've had "bad" things to say, it's just that I don't want to write for writing's sake, I want it to be meaningful and beneficial for those who would read it. The funny thing is, now that I'm writing something I still don't know if it's worth much.
~~~Read on at own risk~~~
*****You are about to enter an unsecured zone known as Derrick's mind*****
*****You are about to enter an unsecured zone known as Derrick's mind*****
In the last few months I've been swept up in an ever expanding amount of thinking. Lots of reflection, evaluation, and critique on myself and my kind - much of which has ended in no concrete conclusions so I've hesitated to write any of it out. (btw - I don't recommend this be done on too much of a regular basis, it kinda hurts)
Long story short...it's a search, an exploration, almost an excavation of sorts. I've been digging through all of the things that are most meaningful to me to see really what they mean. I know that may be somewhat random but it's the best way I can find to describe the situation. I'm regularly questioning and evaluating the things I do, say and think. The strange thing is I somehow feel that the Spirit of Truth is taking a beating inside of me but at the same time he's stronger and more apparently involved in my life than ever before. Kinda like Sylvester Stalone in every movie he's ever done...he always gets the crap kicked out of him before he really comes on strong... yeah, it's like that. I'm taking these things I know as TRUTHS and punching them, pulling them, tearing them apart and in the midst of it all the truth is standing stronger and more clearly before me.
I think that a lot of it comes down to the American gospel as opposed to the ancient gospel. There's a lot of people looking at things like this right now and I don't mean to jump bandwagons or anything but there's a point to be made here. The gospel was not written in English during the 21st Century to a politically divided, uncomparibly comfortable, terrorist threatened, hurricane & tornado torn, technologically advanced superpower called America. Nope, not written to us. Is it applicable to us? ABSOLUTELY. Is it timeless? UNDENIABLY. Does is cross cultural boundaries? MOST DEFINATELY. Yet, it was not written to us and we continue to read it as though it were. This epiphany of sorts has lead me to a re-evaluation of the Scriptures and how we interpret them and more than that, how we apply them. I haven't reached any drop dead, rock solid, everlasting conclusions yet except for the following (and this may be the only part of my ramblings worth reading):
God created.
Man chose.
Life broke.
God spoke.
Jesus came.
Light/Dark.
More choosing.
Eternity awaits.
Beyond this I am renevating just about everything in my system of beliefs. (Just so you are comforted, this is absolutely not turning out to be a questioning of God himself, that's one of the only definites I have, but more a questioning of the lenses that I'm looking through to "see" him.) It's a rigorous and deeply moving adventure that has worn me down to the core of who I am and left me desperate for a gut level, glamourless, honest and revealing life lived in relationship to God. This is what I currently know. This is who I am. And if you happen to have to interact with me know that I'm not totally crazy and that I will still act fairly "normal"* while relating with you.
(* - normal is a relative term when describing Derrick Phillips)
So, I don't know about you and what's inside your head but this was a little glimpse of my inards. Take it or leave it, it's still just me.
-dp-
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